Dissociative Desires
by DearSweetPapercut
Summary: "Do we ever trust anyone completely?" He asked the question to the room as his gaze washed across the heavy oak. "I mean we do everything we can to protect ourselves...don't we?"


Set post 'Dead Ringer'

Sara/Vartann one- shot

Please review- let me know what you think- if I should write more to this etc.

Declaimer: I own zilch

**Dissociative Desires **

His hand rested on her lower back as Vartann led Sara out of the interrogation room into the busy hallway. She shivered slightly at his touch not expecting the physical contact to leave such a heavy mark upon her consciousness, she sighed as she cast a glance over her shoulder at their sobbing suspect. The silence weighted heavily as they stood in the hallway watching as people rushed about them.

The conflicted thoughts spinning her mind painted into her expression as her sense of judgment faltered. _How long can you go on being hurt before it all becomes too much? _It was a question that had lingered in her mind and as she saw her supervisor lost in conversation with Detective Brass she wondered if she could answer honestly herself.

It was the sound of the Vartann's voice beside her that seemed to reanimate the world around them dragging her away from the puzzles of her subconscious.

"You want to get a beer?" He asked her in a low voice the tension in a tight knot in the back of his neck as he forced his mind not to remind him of his past in ways he knew this case could.

"Sure" She nodded not displaying any emotion to his offer but exhaustion. It was a look that he understood- Vegas had taken its toll on both of them.

Sara and Vartann stepped out into the morning light as pale blue had painted itself across the dusky skies. Neither one of them said a word letting their minds wander beyond the confines of this city to places far away. She climbed into the passenger seat of his car passively allowing him to make a decision as to where they would go in order to drown their unspoken sorrows.

"This place isn't too great...but its quiet" He informed her as the car came to a steady halt in the traffic. Sara simply just nodded at him watching as people attempted to prepare themselves for the day ahead. She considered the things they were thinking about as they adjusted the volume on their stereos, put on their make up in the rear view mirrors and read last minute notes.

The traffic cleared and the car sped through the streets as Sin City passed by in tireless haze of awake. The parking lot of the bar Vartann had chosen was virtually empty, a few cars were scattered across the ground as separate as snowfall.

He led Sara inside with a sombre expression to match the mood that had chosen to settle like fog between them. Once they had gotten their drinks the darkness of a corner booth beckoned them with its strange allure.

"Can you imagine being with someone when you knew that they were taking every chance to be with other people?" Sara asked in a low voice attempting to understand how Manny Santana's wife had not given all of those years looking past all of his indiscretions.

"I have some idea..." Vartann nodded with a defeated sigh.

"Makes you wonder what's the real value of trust... If there's any point..." She shrugged. Love hadn't been an easy playing field for her- she'd thought moving to Vegas would change that- that her worth would finally be seen. But it had not provoked the response she had imagined leaving her tangled in internal anxiety.

"Do we ever trust anyone completely?" He asked the question to the room as his gaze washed across the heavy oak. "I mean we do everything we can to protect ourselves...don't we?"

"It doesn't always work..." Sara gave an exhausted sigh swirling the liquid in her beer bottle around before taking a sip. "...More often than not it doesn't work"

"I guess you're right..." He reluctantly agreed with her. He knew only too well the bitterness that can be left behind after an unexpected break. "I've just convinced myself I'm better off on my own..."

"Me too..." Sara lied.

She fished out her cigarettes indicating to him that she was heading outside for a smoke stalking across the wooden floors the sound of her footsteps echoing throughout the bar. He watched her walk away wondering what had made her the fiercely fragile person she had become. With a heavy heart he followed her into the day light wondering whether in the rich tapestries of their pasts they had similar patterns.

Sara was standing facing the road watching as traffic slowly trickled past, she took steady drags from her cigarette. Vartann moved to stand besides her watching the same cars wondering what she thought as she saw these strangers.

"I don't want to be alone..." The words seemed to tumble into the atmosphere alongside smoke and it struck him that this was moment in which he had to decide the desires of his dissociative heart.

"Neither do I..."

**The End**


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